Inner Strength

I've spent much of the past few years building up my inner strength. It's something I knew I had to do because I sorely lacked it until I was around 40 years old. Now I have a tremendous amount of it and it serves me well because it gives me the insight to control myself, my emotions, and I am able to keep my focus on what's important in my life because of it. I don't get sidetracked by the trivialities anymore. I let my natural energy flow so that I can stay in a state of peace with myself and the world in which I live. I am very thankful for the ability to have learned this most important of life's lessons.

Yet I am only human and at times my inner strength is tested by various outer influences. I don't let my emotions cause me to fly off the handle anymore. That is a self destructive means of coping with life's stressors. It makes you say and do things that will come back to haunt you. So I keep myself in check by analyzing my feelings instead of letting them rule me. Ergo, I don't sweat the small stuff at all anymore. I exhale and go on about my tasks because my path in life demands that I stay centered.

This can be very difficult when I see people hurt those whom I love. I have a hard time not letting my emotions run with the heat of the moment. It's been a very hard road to get to where I can stay in control of myself in those situations. In most cases I have to force myself to stay focused on the really important reasons that I'm wherever I've allowed myself to be when these things happen. I take my responsibilities to those in my life very seriously and I do not shirk my duties to those who I've let depend on me. It's a very heavy burden to let others depend on you but if you remain focused on why you're there you'll know the right decisions to make and you'll see that the outcome is far more important than the "moment."

My inner strength is so great that I can withstand most insults because I know myself far better than anyone else does. I would never hurt or humiliate myself or anyone else by surrendering my reason to emotions. I have far more self control than that. When someone brings me close to losing my cool I have to be in control of myself to the point where I can step back from the situation and decide what choice to make. It's not always easy but so is life. I am just grateful that I can do this because most days we are surrounded by those who cannot. They let outer influences like anger, addiction, inner insecurities, and the inability to control themselves rule their judgment and they always come off looking like stark fools to those around them. I remind myself how these people look when they go all batshit because I do not want others to see me make an ass of myself. I have much more self respect than that.

Sometimes it takes me a few days to get beyond my urge to act out through emotion but I always get there because I keep my eye on the end result. I know that if I stay in control I can always triumph because I can keep myself in check. I know what moves to make, what to say, and when to express myself. I also know how to express myself because of the inner strength that allows me the privilege of being "in the now" instead of ruled by "the moment."

And for this I am very grateful. I never look like an idiot to those around me and I never hurt those I love because I let myself get through "the moment." I give myself the time to know what I should I do. Those who persist in letting their emotions rule them always come out on the bottom because they are trumped by the people who keep themselves focused. And they are left to forever ruminate on what they did, what they said, and why they are seen as they are. This is because they practice no self control, take no responsibility for their actions, and let the hurt they cause ferment into resentment. How sad. They don't even have the presence of mind to apologize for their behavior once it is all over.

Maya Angelou says: "When people show you who they are, believe them." This is a lesson that everyone should learn because when you realize the truth in it you'll have taken a giant leap toward understanding yourself and your world. I wish this for everyone because having taken it to heart myself I know the personal satisfaction that comes from it.

Peace,

C