Alice Advises

From the Alice Advises mailbox, by Alice Stein.


Dear Alice,
Can a girl get pregnant in the bathtub?
Sudsy

Dear Sudsy,
Not without a boy.
Best, Alice


Dear Alice,

My wife has a shopping problem. She can't pass a store without having to go in and look at everything on every shelf on every aisle, and nine times out of ten she buys more than we can afford. How can I help her stop this?

Bankrupt Husband

Dear Bankrupt Husband,

Compulsive shopping is a psychiatric disorder that can easily lead to hoarding. I would discuss this with your wife and tell her that not only is she breaking your bank account, she is also displaying alarming behavior. Getting her to recognize she has a problem is the first step toward recovery.

Best, Alice


Dear Alice,
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Just Asking

Dear Just Asking,
Say that three times real fast.
Best, Alice


Dear Alice,
Does Bigfoot really exist?
Curious

Dear Curious,

Yes. He works with me. I don't know why they're always looking for him in the Pacific Northwest when we've got him right here!

Best, Alice


Dear Alice,

My wife died of cancer last year and I have recently met a nice woman who I enjoy spending time with and who makes me laugh. I don't think this will lead to a serious relationship because we enjoy going to dinner and out to a movie and so forth, but I can't help the feeling that I'm stepping out on my late wife. Am I over reacting?

Widower in Minnesota

Dear Widower in Minnesota,

No, you are not over reacting. It is perfectly natural to feel as though you're betraying the memory of a lost loved one when you begin to move on with your life. This will get better. In the meantime, just enjoy your new lady friend. You never know what might happen.

Best, Alice